I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
