the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
