What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
