As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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