yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
