Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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