She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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