Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
