don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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