I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
