his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
