yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
