After last night, I could never be a politician.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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