I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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