so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
