He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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