Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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