He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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