You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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