i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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