Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
