Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i think i just lost a toe
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
