I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
