ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
