I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
