talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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