Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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