I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
