I will die if light touches me.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
