I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
