He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
