i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
