Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
