I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
