Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
