Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
