grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
