glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
