I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
