but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
