Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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