New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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