i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
