i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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