I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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