apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
