dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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