My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
