I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
