If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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