Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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